He Carried a Boulder up a Mountain..
Ancient Greek mythology told a story of a man who had to carry a boulder up a mountain and once he reached the top, the boulder would fall back down for him to carry up again. This was the story of Sisyphus.
There could be many analogies drawn between Sisyphus and the constant battle of PTSD, but there would be something missing - you (owner of PTSD). You are capable of changing the depth of the boulder's fall down a mountain. All people suffer from something every single day. It is up to you to make sure those pitfalls do not end up becoming the end of you.
Continue to fight. Continue improving yourself. Never let those memories win. Talk with people who care about you. Talk with people who understand. But most importantly, talk with someone you are comfortable with. This is incredibly important because you MUST get those things you saw out in the open.
Never be ashamed of yourself. You did your job and you did it well. Never forget that. We sure won't.